under g
gash
we're sewn shut, not a pore left to breathe in or out, in and out,
in to out, all breathing now internal, solipsistic air, carbon air,
dead air. kitty joins us under the covers, clawing at whatever's
left. shade of a shade, obscured hemorrhage, bled novel.
glacier
tonight: tomato in block of ice held in mouth until both melt, the
tomato becomes a bloated tongue, fleshy, lips amplified.
grip
walk to the nearest window. count to thirtythousand. return. write.
impatience counts me out. it runs away. runs away without even looking.
no looking out, just looking in. blind as a bat. don't. disturb.
I am not able to tell myself anything. shut the window, stale the
air, and heat it up. make the room suffocate.
Gotham
Dumbo here staring at Wall Street across the river, I'd like to
lick your stock, devaluate it. I'd like to crash your system. parse
me, packet me in there, tcp/ip me in there. I'd like to serve you
my other tongue.
goodbye
a kind of gaping hole is in me when we're not in touch, or I guess
the hole is always there, agape, a gap, but dry when it is not fed,
a body further and further holed, of the holes some heal, retract
of their own, some defect and infect, others ebb, holes as inverted
limbs, limbs in reverse, extensions that go inside.
glyph
whenever touch is in uncharted territory we shiver. we become translucent
and luminescent. we dilate. varicosed hieroglyphs.
grandmaster flash
quotations break the lineage and are themselves broken off of lineage,
they jar the tenses, they are polysemic activists, they are the
deejays of the text, they manipulate us in turn, they stalk.
grammar
every kind of despair emanating from every pore. a censored revolution,
a momentary relapse.
guide
two inside out upside down people. upside out and inside down. positioned
so as to be positionless, positioned on points rather than lines,
or lines becoming points, or when you point you are no longer there.
the destination, always already set at point of departure. the inertia
of the line, ended. derail, she said.
under d
disease
it's the only thing that lets you know you have a body. microbes,
bacteria, viruses, bad genes have their way with you. list your
lover here. instances of the body amplified, the lover disease.
they invite themselves. they come over. they inside you. the ravishing
of leprosy, the ravishing of a lover. a healthy body a healthy mind,
figments. the disease might be in hibernation inside, or kept at
bay outside. for a while. but it's only waiting not to be invited.
it outsmarts you. you are the subject of the disease. the disease
is the author. the author lover. it writes you. and you can't read.
damage
it's never going to happen, it has always already happened. damaged.
and damaging. closed loop. health report: do you feel pain when
you think of me? damage report. don't smile. think of revenge. with
exponential force. all this an investigation, with scientific precision.
scalpels are sharper than anything. you can't get deeper any faster.
forced, forcing.
demands
hand jobs, blow jobs, nine to five jobs. the roof of the mouth is
anxious.
discourse
it runs its course.
detraction
I used to say "Every book is a failure to open the mouth"
now I think "Every mouth is a failure to open the book."
distance
the measure of everything, it sounds far away even when it's next
to you. in time, it stumbles over itself. you can't take enough
distance to get away from distance. you are measured. even in all
your excesses. your transgressions are every inch a measure. your
escape is planned. but you have no plan, you want out.
dissymetry
entry point to an exit, distance between the far and near, over
there is always here once you're encircled, how to point at yourself
without a mirror, without an echo. I am over there always here,
observing myself observe.
digestion
I don't care, if I get mauled, maimed, chewed, bitten, pierced.
I want to be eaten and digested. but I want to remain whole. down
the tract of the beast and out the hole of the ass still one. like
me but dirtier, smellier. visiting the innards I will take bites
of my own, through the throat, the stomach, the intestines. I will
leave my mark, I will taste the insides. I will know my killer inside
out. I will love my killer for choosing me as prey. I will scare
so easily it will scare back. I will be such a willing victim that
the will will no longer apply.
dentistry
I will never open my mouth wide again.
dry
I have no fluids. I flood. dam the dry walls. It is all too clear:
when you hydrate you are social text, when you dehydrate you are
on your own.
under m
momentary
escape by standing still
murmur murder
all I need is a loudspeaker to make the suicided speech and I'm
all bones.
mother
I live in mouth
I crack my back
my father's back
maim
ages and ages pass subtle before we realize that we die and not
even screaming alters the intersection.
musique concrète
face, that sensorial emitter-receiver center, that radiation, that
sheer naked. up close, yourhythmmyface, Iyours.
under i
incontinence
the last continent, the fluid territory that lasts, the final release
as your body expires its i.
in vacuo
it is not a question of speaking in different tongues but of speaking
in the same tongue tuned to different forks.
image
beckett licking his mud lips.
idiosyncrasy
autocracy for idiots.
i
eye.
injure
deficient eyelids. we can see with our eyes closed under bright
light. the lids leak. my imagination can see anything I might try
to shut out. trauma enters your head from the inside. I can't shut
my eyes like I can shut up. leakyeyes. yes to no words, no to yes
words. really the body has no lid. it can't hide. can't run far
enough, fast enough.
ideomotor
my hands grip the entire bone of my face.
ingredients
(1) tactics for the post-digital voice (2) techniques of mutism
(3) conversations as sites of solitary confinement (4) amplified
lumpen throat (5) how to ingest a microphone (7) "be cruel
with your past and those who would keep you there" (8) the
telephone as transactions of suffocations.
idée fixe
I've been yodeling.
idée reçu
you hate the yodel.
implosive
the infinite blur is discernible only at the moment of caesura,
moment where the oscillation, fibrillation briefly halts. the pause
is daunting, it is a gap of infinitesimal magnitude at both ends
of the spectrum: from the brevity of the flash, to the longitude
of its haunting.
in
some entries can accommodate themselves as exits, others function
like trap doors, erasing themselves upon entry.
in again
despair has entered my vocabulary. cozy bastard.
ideas
die as
index
digital amputation.
impregnable
a vocabulary of the elliptical.
impatience
...
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